Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Love's in Need of Love Today. Think You Lost Her? She's Been Here All Along.

This post is inspired by a post by my brother - Eric Caver.  He said: "I think that think the things we have lost the most through [captivity] and Jim Crow and in life, have been our self worth. . Self love. . Self esteem.. 

He asked for responses ..

Sister Brunson responded: "I know part of the problem but I don't know the solution. We have gone through an identity crisis. We have lost our culture.... WE ARE GREAT AND CAPABLE OF GREAT THINGS!"

I agree with both of them. Sister Brunson and Eric, AYA has been working on a healing solution, and have some great tools to help us recover and live out the greatness that you so accurately and eloquently claim. 


We actually, haven't lost all of our culture - not by a long shot. Severely damaged, yes. On life support, yes. As Stevie Wonder says: "love is in need of love today." 

We need to reclaim the remnants that we have - dusting them off, treasuring them, placing them on the mantel pieces and in the honored places in our lives; protecting them, studying them and rebuilding from them. As simple example my illustrate. 

Call and Response is a key part of our culture. It's central to our music, talking, communication. The choir issues the call, the audience responds - "go head", the minister issues the call; the congregation responds - "take your time, Rev.;" the band says "Hey", we say "Ho." Call and response embodies the principle of reciprocity and is so critical for building trust. 


Trust is the basis for unity. Now, instead of just thinking of call and response or reciprocity in music where we most know it, what if we applied it to our relationships? 

See we been socialized by sick society to build relationships on domination, control, who's in charge, who's the best, who's the head, who wears the pants, etc., That's the European way. Though we've copied it, it's not "home" for us. 

That's why music in a Black church will be different experience than in a White church. Similarly, we we build our relationships on call and response, on reciprocity then we'll have a difference experience too. Right now, our family and personal relationships look more like theirs - a good show, but empty underneath.

Our church  or concert experiences based on call and response or reciprocity will be interactive, with every response by the audience becoming a call to take the choir higher, which, in turn, takes the audience higher - and the spirit moves! 

No one is in control, yet nothing is out of control. 

We're being guided by our culture and specifically cultural principles that we still value and that were to basis of both our great civilizations and our surviving the brutal captivity of yester-year. They are: Authenticity, Balance and Reciprocity. 

We've not lost it. We do have to see it all around us, then we have to use it to build with and build upon. 

Imagine if we built our relationships on those principles. The Warriors-Healers-Builders family has worked with hundreds of people, couples and organizations  to apply this aspect of our culture to their new and old relationships. 

The results mimic the rockin' church I alluded to earlier - the relationship, communication, respect and love goes higher and higher - and the spirit moves. 

Call and Response is just the tip of the iceberg, our culture is waiting for us to reclaim her, and to re-learn how to use her as a foundation for living and building anew.
Love is in need of love today. Come learn more how to see and use the power of our culture to heal, build and defend.  Don't delay. Love's in need of Love today.
Upcoming Retreats:


  • Wash, DC - Feb . 6, 7, 8 

    • Atlanta, GA - March 20, 21, 22 
    • Chicago, IL - May - TBA
     This is the heart and soul of AYA! Everything we do is designed to make us better warriors, healers, and builders. It matters not whether it's a photography workshop, a math class, or relationship coaching. The goal is the same.